God has truly been revealing Himself to me lately...helping me to understand who He is in my life. Many times I find myself depending/relying on others instead of going to my Creator first. Recently I've found myself very "alone" so to speak...where I'm looking at finding happiness in my relationships with others v/s loving on Him. In this moment I've also become a bit defensive toward my "friends" or "lack there of." I'm finding that I have MANY acquaintences but noone I could truly consider my best friend (other than Oswaldo)...no true girlfriends that I am able to relate too 100%. I'm realizing in this moment that this is God's voice/or way of showing/revealing Himself completely to me where I come to the place of fully relying on Him for my innermost self. Often times I find that I "feel" lonely or just that I'm almost MAD at myself for not being able to "give" more of myself to others in order to build those relationships that I FEEL I need...when really...God doesn't want me to get angry or isolate myself but instead to fall on my knees before Him and seek Him in this time.
I talk to Oswaldo about this all the time...about how God seems to "use" us to bring others together and then they just kind of "move on" so to speak...we have so many friends of the season (for whatever reason) and then poof they're gone. I ask him if he feels the same and he agrees. Each of us at this point, do not understand why this tends to always happen...and we tend to feel "badly" about how things unfold v/s seeking God's plan for the long term. Please be in agreement with me/us as we try to understand God's reasoning behind this plan that seems to be and have been a part of our lives for many years now...sometimes we question ourselves etc and wonder are we turning people off/away from us and don't recognize it or what's the deal???Neither of us really understand and pray that God give us clarity on how we can be better friends etc. Please be praying for His discernment in our lives in this area and that we can each better understand the purpose and plan for each of us and our family :)
Sorry to have bored you with this.
Oswaldo just returned from Mexico this evening and is battling a cough/congestion. Pray for his healing.
We are enjoying our new paint job...planning some excitng things to "renovate/upgrade" our home and its value...and also praying for some decisions for next year as far as me teaching again :)
I want to serve the children and their families and am trusting that God puts me in the right place at the right time :)
Thanks for reading!!!
Missy
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
It's been a while
It's been a while. This is the first night in a while that the girls have FINALLY fallen asleep at a decent hour. So I had a few extra minutes to "write." What a great new year we had. We were able to host about 5 families at our home on New Year's Eve and what a fun time it was. The teenagers actually multiplied...we had accounted for 4 and ended up having 8 or more if I remember correctly. It was a lot of fun. The little kids were playing games, running around, watching fireworks as the teens were playing Band Hero and the adults got to veg around the table, eat lots of food and sip on some Sangria. Good times Great company.
The Nass' are doing great these days! My mom is on her way to TX for a visit soon! I cannot wait to enjoy her company / conversation and her help with the girls. The girls are very excited to see her again! My mother in law is also in town for a while...so there's lots of love to go around. Oswaldo is doing great. Together, we are on a weightloss kick...we've begun (since the new year) eating MUCH healthier and hitting the gym! We're trying to make these things HABIT v/s soemthing to do! I want to HATE not going! That way...I get my fitness goals MET! :)
No news really...I am beginning to pray and seek God's direction for what He would have me to do next year...since Isa is going to Kinder I'm asking the Lord, does He want me back into public schools full time? Does He want me in a private school setting part time? Does He want me home full/part time? Does He want me somewhere COMPLETELY different. I'm seeking Him with my whole heart...please pray that I HEAR HIS voice and that I do EXACTLY what He has planned for our family :)
Love you all!
Missy
The Nass' are doing great these days! My mom is on her way to TX for a visit soon! I cannot wait to enjoy her company / conversation and her help with the girls. The girls are very excited to see her again! My mother in law is also in town for a while...so there's lots of love to go around. Oswaldo is doing great. Together, we are on a weightloss kick...we've begun (since the new year) eating MUCH healthier and hitting the gym! We're trying to make these things HABIT v/s soemthing to do! I want to HATE not going! That way...I get my fitness goals MET! :)
No news really...I am beginning to pray and seek God's direction for what He would have me to do next year...since Isa is going to Kinder I'm asking the Lord, does He want me back into public schools full time? Does He want me in a private school setting part time? Does He want me home full/part time? Does He want me somewhere COMPLETELY different. I'm seeking Him with my whole heart...please pray that I HEAR HIS voice and that I do EXACTLY what He has planned for our family :)
Love you all!
Missy
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Ready for 2010 ???
I'm sitting here, listening to the breath of my oldest daughter Isabella, who's lying beside of me on the couch asleep. Oswaldo is playing games on the PS3 and the two youngest are sleeping in their beds. I just read my dear friend Christina's blog and decided, ya know...it's time I start doing this again. Expressing myself through my writing is something I truly enjoy and want to share with anyone that is willing to take the time to read/listen.
Like Christina, somedays I wonder...am I REALLY serving the Lord in the fullest capacity that He would have me to? Every day my character is challenged and my patience renewed as I serve my children/family and most recently, Oswaldo's 2nd cousin (a 3 year old Sofia).
My days at home this year have been good for the most part. I struggle with the challenge of meeting a variety of needs throughout the day. When in my classroom (everyone, all the kids) were of the same age and developmental levels. Here at home, I have a 4 year old (who should already be in Kinder because she enjoys academic challenges), a TESTY 2 year old and an 8 month old who's still nursing. Trying to balance "homework", teaching v/s repremanding all the time and feeding a baby can become a bit stressful at times. I find myself looking forward to a ride in the car where baby can sleep without being disturbed, 2 year old restrained and 4 year old quiet (she loves to talk)...I put in a movie and drive. WHEN REALLY I feel guilty that "we're in the car AGAIN" and I should really be holding them on my lap, reading them a book, etc...I don't think, as a mother, I can ever be completely satisfied and "feel" like I'm doing enough for my children.
THEN there's trying to find time to spend quality/uninterrupted time with my hubby. These days are few and far between it seems...but somehow, he still finds it in himself to love me just the same. We spoke last evening about this and each agreed that sooner than we want...these days will be over adn we'll want them back, so we are going to "suck it up." :) :) I LOVE HIM!
I have a good life. I love that my family and I serve the Lord...that we challenge each other's character, that we love one another and that we love our friends and family. God has taken 2 young college kids (from 2 totally different cultures/languages) and joined us together to preserve and build His kingdom and I KNOW that the "bad" days...really aren't that bad...they're just character building days and to those and to HIM I am truly thankful and blessed...until tomorrow :) ...
Like Christina, somedays I wonder...am I REALLY serving the Lord in the fullest capacity that He would have me to? Every day my character is challenged and my patience renewed as I serve my children/family and most recently, Oswaldo's 2nd cousin (a 3 year old Sofia).
My days at home this year have been good for the most part. I struggle with the challenge of meeting a variety of needs throughout the day. When in my classroom (everyone, all the kids) were of the same age and developmental levels. Here at home, I have a 4 year old (who should already be in Kinder because she enjoys academic challenges), a TESTY 2 year old and an 8 month old who's still nursing. Trying to balance "homework", teaching v/s repremanding all the time and feeding a baby can become a bit stressful at times. I find myself looking forward to a ride in the car where baby can sleep without being disturbed, 2 year old restrained and 4 year old quiet (she loves to talk)...I put in a movie and drive. WHEN REALLY I feel guilty that "we're in the car AGAIN" and I should really be holding them on my lap, reading them a book, etc...I don't think, as a mother, I can ever be completely satisfied and "feel" like I'm doing enough for my children.
THEN there's trying to find time to spend quality/uninterrupted time with my hubby. These days are few and far between it seems...but somehow, he still finds it in himself to love me just the same. We spoke last evening about this and each agreed that sooner than we want...these days will be over adn we'll want them back, so we are going to "suck it up." :) :) I LOVE HIM!
I have a good life. I love that my family and I serve the Lord...that we challenge each other's character, that we love one another and that we love our friends and family. God has taken 2 young college kids (from 2 totally different cultures/languages) and joined us together to preserve and build His kingdom and I KNOW that the "bad" days...really aren't that bad...they're just character building days and to those and to HIM I am truly thankful and blessed...until tomorrow :) ...
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