Understanding My Destiny

God has truly been revealing Himself to me lately...helping me to understand who He is in my life. Many times I find myself depending/relying on others instead of going to my Creator first. Recently I've found myself very "alone" so to speak...where I'm looking at finding happiness in my relationships with others v/s loving on Him. In this moment I've also become a bit defensive toward my "friends" or "lack there of." I'm finding that I have MANY acquaintences but noone I could truly consider my best friend (other than Oswaldo)...no true girlfriends that I am able to relate too 100%. I'm realizing in this moment that this is God's voice/or way of showing/revealing Himself completely to me where I come to the place of fully relying on Him for my innermost self. Often times I find that I "feel" lonely or just that I'm almost MAD at myself for not being able to "give" more of myself to others in order to build those relationships that I FEEL I need...when really...God doesn't want me to get angry or isolate myself but instead to fall on my knees before Him and seek Him in this time.

I talk to Oswaldo about this all the time...about how God seems to "use" us to bring others together and then they just kind of "move on" so to speak...we have so many friends of the season (for whatever reason) and then poof they're gone. I ask him if he feels the same and he agrees. Each of us at this point, do not understand why this tends to always happen...and we tend to feel "badly" about how things unfold v/s seeking God's plan for the long term. Please be in agreement with me/us as we try to understand God's reasoning behind this plan that seems to be and have been a part of our lives for many years now...sometimes we question ourselves etc and wonder are we turning people off/away from us and don't recognize it or what's the deal???Neither of us really understand and pray that God give us clarity on how we can be better friends etc. Please be praying for His discernment in our lives in this area and that we can each better understand the purpose and plan for each of us and our family :)

Sorry to have bored you with this.
Oswaldo just returned from Mexico this evening and is battling a cough/congestion. Pray for his healing.
We are enjoying our new paint job...planning some excitng things to "renovate/upgrade" our home and its value...and also praying for some decisions for next year as far as me teaching again :)
I want to serve the children and their families and am trusting that God puts me in the right place at the right time :)
Thanks for reading!!!
Missy